election debates, humor, politics, Uncategorized


Feeling refreshed after the presidential debates, like “phew, at last, I know so much more about each candidate”?

Probably not, and full disclosure, I fell asleep last night and am only now reliving the inglorious experience. But since I vowed (mostly) to keep politics off of FB and twitter where everyone else seems to be engaging, I am left to promote my high concept debate format here at Brain4Rent.

And the good news is – the technology for a worthwhile debate already exists so this recommendation is turnkey. Just agree to put it in place, and voila, a much shorter, more informative discussion.

  1. For honesty – each candidate is attached to a lie detector and the results displayed at the bottom of the screen.
  2. For brevity – an electric fence type of dog collar (in fashion colors chosen by the candidate) is placed around the neck, and when a candidate gets off topic or just spouts applause-inducing rhetoric, they get a little shock to keep them on topic. For example, if someone gets a tough question, and starts with 20 seconds of “America is the greatest country in the world, and shifts to a question he was not asked but is better prepared to answer”…ZAP!-A reminder to use your time wisely.
  3. For civility – A tube of silence encases the candidate who is not speaking; the front panel of the tube is rotated to the open position when the rebuttal period begins. It is transparent, so we still get to see the funny faces being made by the opponent. Think of the Miss America isolation booth of old that was employed to conceal answers when all contestants were sequentially asked the same probing question. Miss A’s booth is unemployed now, and could probably be picked up pretty cheaply. Plus it could be bullet-proof, doubling as a security measure.
  4. For transparency – Candidates are not allowed to write on paper when the other guy is talking. Every note is jotted down on an iPad (or some other device as long as the sponsoring company contributes vast sums of money to a line item on the Federal Budget that is universally admired but under funded.) and then is transmitted as an instant message to a special debate FB page. This offers the opportunity to rebut quietly, show who is a better multi-tasker (listening, thinking, and writing), while also identifying who is a better speller, an admirable trait.

Admittedly I am pretty frustrated with politics in the greatest country in the world (ZAP!). And, I think the country would be better served by eliminating political parties entirely in the hope this would encourage voting for the man not the party, because Americans deserve solutions, not more problems (ZAP!). But I participate in the elections, and encourage others to do the same, because if you don’t participate you don’t have a right to complain, and if you don’t see what’s broken, how are you going to fix it with brilliant solutions like you see above.

With the debate issue resolved, and just in time for the holidays, I will remind you that in an earlier post, I outlined a solution for the longstanding dilemma of dealing with the badly behaved relative at holiday gatherings. https://brain4rent.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/pt-3-free-holiday-presents-this-one-is-good/

Keep your problems coming, and I will endeavor to solve them in future posts. Big Brain4Rent!

 ©2012 by  Alison Colby-Campbell


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