brain4rent, Humor, ideas, Life Lessons, Psychology, Uncategorized

From My Mouth to God’s Ears


I’m a worrier. I especially worry about money. But on the rare bad days I worry about my competence, my reason for being, my ability to do things I pretty much have proven I can do. And then I get mean. I call myself, lazy, stupid, incompetent, a fraud, too trusting, too cynical, a bad friend, a bad family member, oh and I throw in fat and ugly, too.

Ironically, I have two very wonderful clients who work to make people the best most successful people they can be:  Robin Samora of Partner Promotions and Make Yourself Shine and Rosie Battista of Sleeping Naked After 40. And they always express a need to be kinder to ourselves, Robin tells us not to hide our brilliance under a bucket. To basically accept how great we are at each stage and every day without tearing ourselves down for every little thing. And Rosie tells us to treat ourselves like we would our best friend. I use this thought to bring me back from the edge when I’ve screwed something up. What would I say to a friend who did the same thing? Would I tell her she was stupid, incompetent, or would I be gentler and more realistic, i.e.: yup you screwed up but it’s not the end of the world?

Treat yourself with love and kindness
Treat yourself with love and kindness

Rosie of Sleeping Naked After 40 has a new 40-day program (SN40X) that I’ve helped edit. It’s mostly not about the food. It’s about relearning how we care for and about ourselves. It teaches us in very simple steps that can sometimes take less than a minute a day to honor ourselves with good treatment and positive thoughts. So she has me beta testing the program. And I can say that at the half way point I can feel it working. I feel much lighter mentally. I’d stopped singing or even listening to music; I especially hated hearing other people’s music because I felt like it just added another layer of chaos and mental noise to my stressful and hectic life. Lately, I noticed that I started singing as I go about my day.  Now this may cause stress for other people because I seldom know more than a couple of phrases I repeat over and over, but it is a sign to me that I am in a better space.

I will spill the beans about one step in Rosie’s program. She encourages all the ladies on the program to go out and treat themselves to an extravagant lipstick. To move away from the drug store and head to the fancy counters in a department store like Neiman’s or Macy’s. It just so happened that the day before she made this suggestion, my last lipstick (Walmart $4) rolled out of my car and into a slimy parking lot puddle so I took this as a sign that I needed to try the lipstick step. Chanel sounded like a true luxury, and I had a $20 Macy’s gift card to hedge my bet. Rosie recommended buying an outlandish new color, but it was the end of summer, not yet fall, so I wanted something to span both seasons, so I’d look for a lovely, luxurious, practical, full-year color, hedging my bet there, too.

Chanel Lipstick
Chanel Lipstick – $60 worth of luxury

Rosie also encourages spending time on yourself so I figured I would take 15 minutes and engage the clerk to help me pick out the lipstick shade and type. Fifteen minutes led to twenty and twenty to thirty-five and my foot was waggling a mile a minute and my mind was racing with all I had to do. I hadn’t mentally signed on for the half hour visit. I never asked prices because I fully anticipated that no lipstick anywhere could ever be over twenty dollars. But with a Chanel lipstick (Rouge Allure 119 Captivante) and a Chanel lip liner  (Le Crayon Levres Tulip) (you can’t really have one without the other), I was presented the bill for about $40. I gently admonished the very helpful clerk, “Oh you must have forgotten the gift card”…She hadn’t. I was astounded. That was more of an extravagance than I expected.  And now I was upset, I needed a new knock-about-everyday watch so much more than a lipstick, and there was a nice Anne Klein on sale in the next department at Macy’s for $49 and instead I had a lipstick. I don’t waste money on myself like that.

So I called Rosie and said, “Listen I just don’t think like you. This makes me feel anxious. Guilty for wasting money that could have had more practical uses.”

She asked if I liked the lipstick. I said “Yes, it makes my lips feel more supple and smoother than the $4 Walmart lip stain, though it doesn’t stay on as long.”

She asked if I intended to return it. I said “No”. She said “Well then you better just start loving the lipstick. It’s a treat; it isn’t a lifetime of wasting money and it’s pretty, so quit beating yourself up over it and enjoy.” And then she said, “Don’t worry about the money; the universe will fill your request to be able to afford it.

This is as far from my financial thinking as anything can get. I think you work for what you want and buy it after you’ve got the money.“Why should the universe supply my request for lipstick when other people request cures for cancer and they don’t get it?”  It seems way too self indulgent to ask the universe for something so trivial and let’s face it I did have $40, but I’m a gal who NEVER pays retail. My other client, Robin who is also a smart and talented woman has said the same thing and both of these ladies seem to have much more exciting fulfilling lives than most, and both are always traveling to wonderful places and meeting fascinating people.

Lipstick kisses
Lipstick kisses for Rosie Battista and Robin Samora

I figured I’d have to agree to disagree with these women I admire.

Later that day I told this story to my aunt expecting validation for my way of thinking. But, she agreed with Rosie and Robin. So I pretty much accepted that the world had gone mad.

Then a funny thing happened. The next day an announcement was made that a client I had been working on for almost two years was one giant step closer to becoming a reality. And now I’m left to worry if that success is less because of the hard work and long hours I put into it and more simply because I bought the damn lipstick?

Rosie’s response to this turn of events…  “Dior mascara”.

RESOURCES:

Robin Samora Inc. http://www.robinsamorainc.com/

Sleeping Naked After 40 http://sleepingnakedafter40.com/

Chanel at Macy’s http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/chanel-rouge-allure-luminous-intense-lip-colour?ID=729101&CategoryID=62601#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D11%26ruleId%3D52%26slotId%3D2

©2013 by Alison Colby-Campbell

11 thoughts on “From My Mouth to God’s Ears”

  1. LOL! I got a kick out of this blog. I learned about Chanel the hard way, too – and Bobbi Brown eye shadows. Yikes, buy three colors AND the case to put them in and you’ll need to take out a mortgage – and they don’t even include a brush. But, I digress… Yes, a good lipstick is essential. When in doubt, put on fresh lipstick! And maaan, stop being so hard on yourself! Like Mary Poppins, you are practically perfect in every way. Beautiful inside and out, kind to animals, and a talented entrepreneur. You love, and are loved by so many. We all have self-doubts and occasional self-loathing; just find your Zen and remember your best is good enough. Thanks for another great blog that we all can relate to!

  2. Betty thank you for your kind words, and for being such a welcome contributor to my blog. I’m usually pretty good about my self and self esteem, but on those rare occasions, I’m a menace. Getting over it though.

  3. Love this post! Sometimes it is hard to spend money on extravagance like that (I mean, $60 on lipstick?!) but it’s amazing how having a few extravagant items in your repertoire makes you feel. I guess it all comes down to knowing that you’re worth spending the money on.

  4. I enjoyed your blog Miss Colby-Campbell~! Extravagence does do wonders for the blues. It doesn’t solve any problems or make them go away…. however, it does help you feel good about yourself~! You are worth every bit of the $60 lipstick…we owe it to ourselves NOT to be so frugal and responsible all the time. Chim-Chim-eny Chim Chim-eny Chim Chim Cherue!

      1. It’s not so much the expensive lipstick, as it is the message behind it…I wouldn’t spend $60 for a tube of lipstick either, however, I have no guilt feelings about going for “Medi-Pedi’s” once a month!

  5. I’m still learning from this exercise so it was worth it….In retrospect I find that being extravagant with and for myself has to take the form of what pleases me and what pleases me is getting a great bargain for quality items – I go around smiling for weeks after that and think I am so cool and talented. Or something simple like the fact that my 3’x 8′ (est) garden produces a small quantity of vegetables that I can eat all summer, that’s a treat for me. But one important lesson I learned from this experiment is that the better I treat myself, the better I feel about myself, the more I want to help others. I actually want to share my bounty professionally, emotionally, and literally. And that’s priceless.

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